How My Traumatic Pregnancy Gave Me a New Perspective on my Career

How nearly losing everything gave me the strength to rebuild, redefine ambition, and confront the challenges of motherhood and career.

This is our very first guest post, and I’m so excited! A few weeks ago, I asked if any of you would be interested in contributing a guest post as we approach December. The post could even be anonymous if preferred. Well, two of you reached out, how exciting is that? Everything will return to normal in two weeks, but if you’re still interested in chatting with me about a guest post for 2025, let me know. I absolutely love the community we’re building here.

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The year is starting to wind down and all the pressure we put on ourselves at the beginning of 2024 is starting to fade.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief, pick up a glass of wine and fill our boots with Celebrations and roast dinners.

This year, I spent most of it on maternity leave but not many people would know this.

I was ever-present on social media keeping my followers informed on the news that I was keenly keeping abreast with. As well as staying clued up on the happenings of the world, I started a newsletter, which came along with a brief podcast as well as taking up TV appearances and hosting opportunities.

Some might ask why I wouldn’t choose to simply just rest but I sadly, I didn’t feel like I had this option. As a woman, a journalist and as a Black journalist writing about ethnic minorities at that, I felt that I didn’t want to miss a year out of my career and be set back.

I didn’t want to feel like having a baby came at a cost which in truth it really does. It comes at a physically cost, a mental cost and a short sacrifice of any career goals you have being placed on hold - hopefully to be picked back up at some point.

It’s a real shame that our society hasn’t evolved to the point where men are offered the same maternity leave as women. If they were, women wouldn’t have to accept that bringing a child into the world means losing out on having the same opportunities that men get because their careers are more stable. In what is assumed to be a progressive country, you would think this might have happened by now but instead, here we are still wondering if we can have it all.

Fortunately, the great thing I’ve experienced about having a child is that my baby is my rocket fuel. This little bundle of joy has made me more ambitious and driven, if only so I can one day choose when we can spend time together, rather than society dictating that to me.

I have a new sense of passion for making things happen for myself, for truly living life and chasing the dream of having it all.

After quite a traumatic pregnancy, with my life hanging in the balance, I knew that when I recovered, I would return even more determined than ever.

So, in some ways even though as a woman I still face the additional challenge of losing out on the career track, I’ve been blessed with my biggest cheerleader who will hopefully grow up and say, “mummy had it all when she had me.”

Kind regards

Melissa

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It’s Marv!

Melissa’s story is a powerful reminder of the balancing act many women face in pursuing their careers while embracing motherhood. It’s inspiring to see how she transformed challenges into ambition, using her experiences to fuel her.

But it also raises an important question for all of us: What does "having it all" really mean?

Is it about achieving a balance, or is it about finding fulfilment in the choices we make, whether in our personal lives, careers, or a mix of both?

The truth is, ‘having it all’ is deeply subjective. As Melissa powerfully pointed out, every woman should have the choice to define success on her own terms. But for that to happen, systemic change is needed. Policies that truly support women, such as equitable parental leave for both parents, are so important. The NHS is committed to training and recruiting more qualified maternity staff and midwives, and reducing the disturbing figures around maternal death rates in childbirth. Let’s hope that concrete progress is seen as soon as possible.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I don’t have children, so if you do, tell me has parenthood shaped the way you approach your career or ambitions? Or has a particular life challenge made you shift gears around your working life and how hae you adapted? Feel free to keep sharing your thoughts, stories, or reflections with me and - who knows - maybe your journey could inspire a future post!

Huge thanks to Melissa for writing this post here for us. I admire her work greatly and she has a fabulous weekly email here on Substack and has just launched an exciting new video podcast of one-one-one interviews on Youtube. I would urge you to check both her spaces out, and support her endeavours if you feel you’d like to. As the world of overwhelming news grows exponentially, I am a huge believer in carefully curating what I consume: limiting the amount of distressing information I read and watch (doesn’t mean I don’t care), and sticking with content produced by people I actually know and trust, who I am drawn to, or who are way more ‘real’, relatable and motivational. On top of that, I love to see younger journalists flourish and grow in what is an ever more challenging industry. Melissa is definitely ‘One to Watch’ because I am convinced that she has so much more greatness ahead of her!

[PS For those of you asking: I’m back on GMB on Monday 30 and Tuesday 31 December - probably wearing something sparkly to mark the end of 2024, and to usher in what will hopefully be a marvellous 2025 for us all]