Menopausal Rage
A Love Story
Right. I need to talk about something.
Because Lucy Pasha-Robinson’s opinion piece caught my eye this week which stopped me dead in my tracks — and sent me straight back to a moment just before Christmas that I’ve been meaning to share with you.
Northampton train station. Cold and wet. I’ve reached the top of the steps up to the main entrance - a wide set of glass sliding doors.
There’s me minding my own business, striding with full purpose toward my platform. And then — out of absolutely nowhere — a man curses at me (F***ing b*tch). Curses at me to my face. And shoves past me with his shoulder.
Why? Because apparently I had the audacity not to dissolve into the wall to let him pass through a doorway with more than enough room for the both of us.
Little did he know.
I stopped. Turned back. And from somewhere deep in my belly — the very same one that has delivered over two decades of live television news, thanks very much — I screeched at the back of his head
“You f**ing little pr*ck.”
He heard me alright.
Then I swivelled round, strode into that station and caught my train.
The commuters inside stared at me. I was unbothered.
Now — I’m not suggesting you do the same if you experience anything similar.
You do you.
But it was a reminder to me that - even with HRT - my menopausal rage is at peak. Effing. Peak.
And I am unapologetic about it.
Lucy’s Guardian piece explains why it matters that we talk about this. It’s a bloody good, yet infuriating read.
And I’ll bet every woman reading my words right now — has her own version of this story.
The casual aggression. The entitlement. The unspoken message that public space belongs to men and women navigate it on sufferance.
And this is all happening while women - like news anchor & war zone reporter, Gillian Joseph from my latest podcast episode - have to fight to be believed about their own bodies FFS.
Dr Louise Newson is talking openly right now about the scale of medical misogyny — women dismissed, minimised, told it’s anxiety or that they’re being overdramatic — when actually their hormones are doing something very real and nobody in a white coat wants to hear it!
Take a look at her #NotMe campaign.
And the Epstein survivors are still fighting to be believed. Still waiting for the systems built to protect powerful men to reckon with what was done to them.
It’s obvious there’s a pattern here, right?
But let me tell you there is a particular kind of rage that arrives with perimenopause that nobody prepares you for.
When it lands it’s a massive shock. I questioned myself for years about why I was constantly ‘kicking off’.
For a long time I tried - and failed - to apologise for it and manage it. Keep it locked down.
Now I think it might be the most honest, clear-sighted response I’ve had in years. Because the things making me furious are genuinely fury-inducing events (of which there’s an ever-growing layer).
I for one won’t be shrinking. I won’t be stepping aside. And I certainly won’t be keeping my voice down.
Fewl free to share a rage incident that’s happened to you because I really want to know what happened and how you handled it. Tell me everything 💝
Yours in luv & solidarity
Marv
PS One monumental rage episode a few years ago made me realise I was in perimenopause, and that it was time to get medical help. FAST. Here’s that story in my own words. Hold tight!
Hiya Tricia - well WOWZER! Good for YOU. You know what I think the problem is with some people, they are so apathetic and careless they expect us to come with the same energy in life. I commend you on how you reacted - even if it's a 1st World Problem. I think it's the principle of customer service that you acted on - so why the eff are they ignoring your request??? Especially when these supermarkets all claim we as customers are at the heart of their business. It's flipping simple, isn't it? So he left the trays! What a total numpty! If you can't do the job, then leave the job and go find a job that better matches your skills and talents.
Hey Marverine, nice to see you on Substack, hope life is treating you well? I found menopausal rage incidents to be wonderfully freeing. After years of suppressing those high blood pressure moments, I’m still most proud of the moment I lost my shit with the Tesco delivery man who was entirely unfussed about ignoring the delivery instructions (to the back door, where the kitchen is) and then thought it was entirely acceptable to talk back to me like I was being unreasonable in my (repeated) request when he was the latest in a long line of Tesco delivery men who’d similarly ignored the same instructions and generally not given a toss about me, the customer. The rage I felt in that moment went from zero to 100 in 5 seconds and I let rip. He left his trays and walked away. Instead of feeling ashamed, I felt liberated that the drip drip drip effect of my requests being ignored were finally heard and felt in no uncertain terms. And yes, I know it’s a first world problem. 🤣