Have you always felt beautiful?

Me neither. This is my journey of self-acceptance, handling trolls and redefining what true beauty means in an age where social media dictates what's 'nice' and what's not.

Aug 30, 2024

Welcome back to "Moments," where I open up about my journey and experiences in the world of journalism and TV presenting—a first for me, as I've never shared this side of myself before. But with a newfound freedom in my middle age, I’m ready to dive in. This isn’t your typical industry newsletter. Drawing from my years of teaching, training, and mentoring hundreds of people in media and journalism, I’ll be sharing the insights I’ve used to help so many others maintain their mental wellbeing, grow their resilience, and advance their careers. You’ll get my personal take on navigating mid-life as a journalist, maintaining professionalism, and staying relevant in my 50s. I’ll also explore self-care, emotional health, and how I keep my passion for this unpredictable profession alive through it all!

Hey guys,

I hope you’re all doing well and enjoying what’s left of the summer holidays!

Many of you might know it was my birthday over the Bank Holiday weekend. I wanted to say a MAHOOSIVE THANK-YOU for all your lovely messages on social media. It was a deliberately low-key affair. As you get older, you don’t really want presents as such, but I did receive some thoughtful gifts from Verina at work and a delicious afternoon tea hamper from the GMB team.

Oz and I relaxed with a pot of coffee, croissants, and jam on Sunday morning, but there were tears when he dropped me off at the station. We hugged the life out of each other before I had to hop on a train to London for a week to work at GMB.

All my choice, of course, and I love my job, so it’s a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. Plus, it was Oz’s birthday yesterday. Yes, star sign lovers, we are indeed Virgo babies (or as Oz calls us, ‘lazy late summer babies’), so ‘looking forward to seeing hubby’ is an understatement. He’s grateful for all his birthday messages on social media too, after I embarrassed him on my Instagram reel. If you get a chance, check out his music – his hobby, would you believe? As Offal Club, he writes and performs quirky indie, alternative, punky sounds, with some ska influences thrown in for good measure

Anyway, I’ll be updating you on work and everyday life next week with a #DayInTheLife, including how I’ve survived 16 years as a freelancer and more. But before then, I have two questions: Did you apply for the ballot for tickets to the Oasis world tour? Read until the end to find out if I did or not. Also, have you always felt beautiful?

Me neither, and I want to discuss this and take a moment to delve into a subject that’s been quite personal to me—and I’m sure to many of you: my journey with beauty.

Let’s get into it.

A Rocky Start

Let’s rewind to my teenage years. Growing up, beauty was something I never felt truly connected to. I was shy and self-conscious, often comparing myself to the glossy images in magazines and the effortlessly beautiful presenters and pop stars on TV. I struggled with my spotty skin, my hair that wasn’t straight like the white and Asian girls’ at school, and every little detail that didn’t fit the so-called standards of beauty. I remember thinking, “If only I could change this or that, maybe I’d feel better about myself.”

It wasn’t just about appearance; it was about how I felt inside. There were days when I felt invisible, as though my self-worth was tied to my looks. It was a constant battle between wanting to fit in and trying to embrace who I was.

The turning point came in my early twenties. I began to realise that my view of beauty was too narrow. I was inspired by women around me who radiated confidence and grace, not because they conformed to any standard, but because they embraced their uniqueness. One of my oldest friends, Eleanor, for example, took up modelling while we were still in school. That was inspiring to see. So, I started experimenting with different styles, adding a little bit of colour and trying out various products (mainly lip glosses, Collection ones I’d get from the Bullring market, and then, when I started earning a bit of dosh, some lipsticks by the American black beauty brand Mary Kay from Boots on New Street. Does anyone remember them?). I did this not to fit in, but to express myself.

Funny enough, on that journey of ‘finding myself’ and what beauty means to me, I ended up being quite tomboyish. I even bought a blazer from Top Man and a black leather pork pie hat to emulate Chris from one of my favourite ’80s bands, which I’m still obsessed with! But I accepted that about myself.

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Makeup became a form of art and self-expression for me, not just a mask to hide behind. I learnt that beauty isn’t just about flawless skin or perfect features; it’s about feeling good in your own skin and owning your look with confidence. The more I embraced this mindset, the more I found myself feeling beautiful.

Beauty as Empowerment

Fast forward to today, and my relationship with beauty has changed a lot. I’ve come to appreciate that beauty is deeply personal and subjective. It’s about self-love and the power of feeling confident in who you are, regardless of societal pressures.

In this strange world of being on screen and in front of live audiences, where I am quite literally ‘on display’, beauty is a crucial part of the performance for both men and women. Every TV Presenter has to sit in that makeup chair, whether it’s for a quick matte down and dust, or a full-coverage look like I have every morning for TV news. I know it’s not easy, especially in a social media-obsessed generation where trolls are constantly giving unsolicited opinions and everything else to boot: “‘I didn’t like your outfit today,” “I hate the way you laugh,” “Will you stop smiling?”

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the value of self-care. Taking time for myself, whether it’s writing down some reflections and plans, following a guided meditation (even if it’s just ten minutes), or indulging in a full-body massage, has become an essential and routine part of my life. It’s not about achieving perfection, but about creating moments where I feel cherished and confident.

I have long given up trying to be perfect because ‘perfection is prison’. I have no idea who originally said that phrase, but they are spot on.

Some people are well on their way to embracing their own beauty journey; others might be struggling or not even bothered. I say, ‘Just do you!’ Full makeup and lashes daily if you like that and enjoy it. If you think it’s a chore, don’t bother. At work, I’m lucky to have a team of truly amazing ladies poised at 4.30 am to transform me from Still Waking Up Marv into Camera-Ready Marv. (You’ve seen those Before and After pics on my Insta, right?!)

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A post shared by @tvmarv

And then most days, when I’m back home in Brum, I trot around the high street with no makeup and not a care in the world. In my book, it’s okay to have days when you feel less than perfect, and it’s okay to struggle with self-doubt. What’s important is to keep exploring what makes you feel beautiful and to find joy in that process.

As I look back on my journey, I realise that beauty isn’t a destination; it’s a continuous evolution. It’s about growing, learning, and embracing who you are at every stage of life. And I’m so grateful to have you all on this journey with me. If you ever want to share anything with me, feel free!

BEFORE I GO…

That little secret I said I’d reveal this week is, of course, beauty-related! If you fancy a little insight into some of the beauty products I love, look out for the next issue of Sainsbury’s magazine. I’m reliably informed that it’s in stores from this Sunday (1st September). Here’s a cheeky preview.

Funny how life works, I worked at Sainsbury’s while doing my first degree, and now my face is in their magazine? AHHH, I can’t believe it!